Dennis Miller Demystified

Posted By: Tony Castillo Monday, September 25, 2000 12:01:23 PM

Attempting to understand ABC Monday Night Football's Dennis Miller is like calculating the mean value theorem with an abacus. It's like Sisyphus on roller skates. It's like cleaning Hubble's mirror with a chamois and some Turtle Wax. Translation: Trying to follow Mr. Miller is often an exercise in futility.

Shadowpack, a wireless solutions provider, aims to make Dennis Miller's obscure cultural, literary and historical references comprehensible to Monday Night Football (MNF) fans everywhere through "Dennis Miller Demystified," an exclusive-to-wireless enhanced mobile experience. The weekly event, which kicks off with the Monday, September 25 game, will run through the end of the NFL season.

MNF devotees no longer need to rush to their encyclopedia or read the translation on a Web site a day later, to be in on the joke. They simply go to www.dmdmyst.com on their Internet-capable phone or Personal Digital Assistant (PDA), or two-way pager while watching ABC's September 25 game between Jacksonville and Indianapolis. As soon as Miller utters an esoteric remark during the broadcast, a crack team of scholars will post a translation to the devices, giving America a chance to appreciate the wit and wisdom of television's most learned sportscaster.

Example:
Miller Reference: A zone blitz! Manning reads the zone blitz like Karpov does the Najdorf Sicilian!

Shadowpack Translation: Miller compares Peyton Manning's aptitude for reading defenses with grandmaster Anatoly Karpov's ability to deal with common chess openings. Players using the Najdorf Sicilian attempt to start a full-scale battle, with little or no chance for a draw.

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I.M. Anonymous @ 9/25/2000 8:13:41 PM #
Yeah right

Ha!

I.M. Anonymous @ 9/26/2000 9:37:18 AM #
Fantastic! That's even better than
Steve Santos' 1973 International Human
League Award acceptance speech! ...And better still than
the effect of Najinsky's Postulate on the Eurasion economy
in 1533!

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