TouchPad Quickoffice Document Editing Update Due This Week

Owner to room of leaders: Ladies and gentlemen I called you all in because of a radical development this morning. HP, according to a presser has cancelled their hardware line and appears to be abandoning their WebOS vision.

Marketing Director: Whoa. What? This will kill us on the launch of QO for WebOS!

Head of Corp Relations: You've gotta be kidding. Those #@#$%#$ idiots just sent me a list of prioritized sales channels just yesterday! Are you sure this is not April 1st?

Head of Software Engineering: Yeah, just saw it on PIC.

Owner: No. It's for real. They are dumping PCs and everything. The stock is already on a nosedive in the past 30 minutes.

Head of Software Engineering: This is bad right? I mean, if there's no WebOS, then who is gonna buy our software for it? We are only 30 days or so from going live.

Owner: Hmmm.

Director of Marketing: 30 days! That's an eternity. This entire platform will a distant memory in 30 days! This #$%#$%#s!!!!

Owner: It's like "what if they called a war and nobody came"? @#$%@#$!

Marketing Dir: Are you serious that it's still 30 days out? Y'all been working on this for like 3 years!

Head of Software Engineering: Not, exactly. A bit less than that. We need to do quite of bit of testing and optimization these next few weeks before it's gold standard. I mean ...

Marketing Dir: Gold Standard my @#$@#$ @#$% @#$ ... this thing either goes now or we'll have to give away free iPads to get a single purchased copy! Why can't we not release now?

Head of Software Engineering: Weeeell, it could be released now, but it would be on par with HP printer software or ATT phone bloatware, have all sorts of bugs and run a slow as molasses on a cold ...

Marketing Dir: Oh give me a break! You guys have been down there over 2 years. It's gotta be better than Docs2Go ever would have. It's ready!

Head of Software Engineering: Noooo. It's not.

Owner: Gentlemen. Please. My Lord. How did I ever agree to this crap. I should have known HP was pulling another iPaq v2.0.

Owner: What's the current version?

Head of Software Engineering: 0.922b, but Tom and Lucy just this morning finished the ...

Owner: Compile it. Now.

Head of Software Engineering: Huh?

Marketing Dir: Amen! Hayull to the yes. It's our only course.

Head of Software Engineering: So, your saying push this out the door. Right now?

Owner: When can you get the webstore updated, notifications to our partners, and that live update tool for HP?

Head of Corp Relations: 1st thing Monday morning!

Head of Software Engineering: C'mon, at least give me till Tuesday before announcing. We've got to at least get this packaged up over the weekend.

Owner: OK. Announce Tuesday. Push it to HP on Wednesday. Tell HP that gold standards going to the Web Catalog on Friday, so they can either blow their update testing it or push it to Touchpads on the same day. @#$%@#$% pieces of @#$@#$ @#$@#$. And Margaret, get our lawyer in here ASAP with our @#$@ HP contract. I'm going to rape these @#$@#$@@#$s once and for all. And here I thot Docs2Go were idiots!

Margaret: OK sir.

Owner: Well. Congrats everyone on going live with document real editing for WebOS. It's a first. You guys are truly amazing.

Everyone: Thank you sir.

Director of Marketing: Yeah, great work everybody!

Owner: Oh, by the way. I'll need "everybody on" this weekend if were gonna push this thing over the top. Sorry for any inconvenience. Meeting adjourned.

Head of Software Engineering:

... at least that's what my sources tell me Can't wait to download it. ;-)

Pat Horne